Been a Long Long Time

I can't believe how long it's been since I last wrote, but A LOT has been going on. My divorce from Mike was finalized pretty quickly, by the end of September. So by the time we went to court in October he hadn't even known we were divorced, he still doesn't know. He showed up to court with his girl friend, by now they are broken up. He now owes her money too and he hates her. She was making sure to provide him with whatever drug he needed, but she was just too crazy for him. He contacts me about once a month, but I don't entertain him in any way. He lost his licences again and he's also been locked up twice since our break up, has a court date at least once a month and he's facing shop lifting charges in October.

 

I now have a new boyfriend. I took time to heal and make sure I was ready for a new relationship before just jumping into one. I dated a few guys after my break up with Mike, but knew I wasn't ready for anything. I also knew I wasn't going to settle at all. If there was a moment I felt games were being played, a split second I didn't trust someone, I never went on another date with them again. 7 months after Mike and I broke up I met Marcus. We spent some time together, but I wasn't yet ready still for a relationship. However, after a month with Marcus I changed my mind. I was ready. We have been doing good and going strong ever since. We had one miscommunication the first week of our official relationship, but haven't had a problem since. I trust him fully and I've never had that. It's such a relief to not have to worry about where he is 24/7 like I had with Mike. I love that when I see him texting I could careless that he's talking to someone else, whether it be male or female. He loves the bar scene, that's never been my thing. I get such a calming feeling when I'm laying in bed at night knowing he's at the bar with his friends and I don't have to worry about a damn thing! It's just too good a feeling. He very rarely will go out without me, just when he has friends or family in town, but when he does I just love the freeing feeling I get knowing I have no worries. 

 

Tonight is one of those nights. He's out right now with his cousin who will be in town for the next week. I'll go out with them, but once they are ready to head to the bars that's when it's time for me to go home. 

 

Any way, Marcus is amazing. He's already gotten me more flowers that my ex ever has. Our first week together he bought me this really cute necklace that I just love. He wants to spoil me, but I don't let him. When we go camping it's just peaceful and fun... none of that nightmarish fighting like when Mike & I used to go. 

 

Last night we went to see Jeff Dunham, that was a nice time. Next week we're heading to Florida for a week. So this will be our first vacation together, the most time we'll spend together consecutively so this will either make or break our relationship. I'll know after that week whether or not we have a future. I hope so though, he's a really good guy. He's been finishing all the home projects my ex never finished. I had car problems, he paid for the parts and fixed them for me. He just likes things perfect, likes me safe and wants to take care of me. But just because he pays for everything and does everything doesn't mean we'll be compatible. So I'm definitely waiting for this vacation to see how we get along spending that much time together. He already knows he wants to spend his life with me, told me he wants to marry me. I told him that I'll probably never do that again but one never knows. I'm trying to think with my head this time and ignore my heart until I know it's safe. I have very high standards right now and I rather be alone and single than in a relationship I have doubts with.

 

To be honest, I was very happy single. I was having a good time, so I know I'll be just fine being single. But meeting this guy made me change my mind. As much as I was loving single life I just wanted to be with him always. Hopefully I'll be here more often now that life is slowing down so I can keep up with this blog.

 

Or I don't know, because I may be starting my own business next month. We'll see...

 

~CLM

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