I feel like things are getting better. I wanna say they are going back to normal, but normal for me is when I think about Mike almost 24/7. It's weird. As soon as the detective said those two words that will forever haunt me, "Mike's dead." my brain hit a switch. I probably think of him less than an hour a day now, collectively.
I don't believe in ghosts or any afterlife. 👻 I never took the time to decide what I believe in, but I do feel like at times he is with me. I'm not sure what that means... is he with me? Or is my brain over active? Idk, but I'd like to think he can't see me. 👀 lol
I used to hate when he drove by because I was worried he'd be watching me or the kids out front. I'd hate to think that he has access to me 24/7 now.
I'm coping a bit better with the situation. I think I'm ready to move on and forget about him. His mother makes it clear that we were EXes and that I have no reason to feel as I do. I don't care about any legal document. 📜 We may have gotten a divorce, but I will always have feelings for him. 💓 He was still my husband in my eyes. But whatever, she wants me to move on and pretend he didn't exist and that's what I'm going to try and do.
Goodbye Mike. 😪