Paul Walker... again

I'm laying in bed watching him get ready for work. I'm so happy I get to stay in today, no gym for me. But I'm disappointed he has to go. He's standing there in his cargo jeans looking for a tank top. I'm staring at his hip bones that I love biting, thinking I wish he could stay home with me. I want to lay around all day and watch TV while we cuddle. We haven't had a day like that in a long time. Raising my eyes, passing the ripple of each ab, I stare at his chest smiling at the tattoo of my name. I love this guy. I'm not sure how I got so lucky as to marry someone who, despite his addictions, is so good to me. I know he has to work, we need the money, but I really really need a day with him. It's been awhile. I wanna lay on the couch or in bed, with his head on my chest, stroking his curls. I love his curls, I love his brown hair. Brown hair? It's brown. He'll tell you it's blonde. I'm not into blondes, which is why I was never into Paul Walker. I liked him as a person, but I was never attracted to him. So it amazes me every time someone tells me my husband looks like Paul Walker. I hear it all the time. At this point I roll my eyes at people and tell them he doesn't. He doesn't... not to me anyway. Maybe once I seen it a couple years ago when he had a hat on. But never again. Any way...

 

I eventually rip my eyes from his tattoo and look at his face. He smiles at me, and says, "I love you." I smile back with an "mmhmm." He slips his tank top on and grabs a hoodie. "Stay home and lay in bed with me all day." I say. Smiling again, he replies, "I can't." I know he can't. I wish he could. "I'll bring the Wii U in the bedroom, we'll play Mario and cuddle all day." I respond, knowing we're 2 levels away from beating it and it's hard for him to resist a game of Mario when the kids aren't around. He laughs. I love his laugh. "Kiss." he says, bending over to say goodbye to me. My eyes start to water as he walks out the bedroom door. "I'll be back soon." he says, knowing full well 9 hours is not soon to me. "Be good!" I yell after him. "I will baby." he yells back. And he's gone.

 

Here I am... alone. I miss Michael so much and all I can think about is him. I want him home, I need him home. Why am I so emotional when it comes to him lately? I've been feeling this way since the beginning of September. It's like I fell in love with him all over again. I'm so glad I married him. We're about to start our 5th year together and we'll be celebrating our 2 year wedding anniversary in a week. I know he won't be able to afford to get me anything and I'm okay with that. He, however, is disappointed in himself. I got him two little presents, one for traditional cotton, the other for modern tradition, china. The big present I got him is a really nice bracelet. I can not wait to give it to him. He doesn't really wear jewelry, just a watch and his wedding ring, but he looks so good in jewelry. Well, he always looks good, but I can't wait to see him wearing this bracelet. I also got him a gorgeous watch for Christmas, another thing I can't wait to give him.

 

It's time for me to start my day. Hopefully I can distract myself so that I won't mope over missing Mikey all day. Only 7 and a half hours left and he will be back. 

 

~CLM

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