Reflections

Today is one of those days I'm sitting here in peace. I'm taking this time to reflect because things are going to get really busy for me tomorrow. While Kendra is at church & Marc's at work I sit here in silence. It's a rare moment for me. It feels like spring out, absolutely gorgeous. I'm so thankful for everything and everyone in my life. I'm truly blessed and very lucky. I spent years questioning why I deserved the terrible things I've been going through only to be granted an amazing AMAZING amazing life now. 

 

My life of hell started in 2009 when Stephen told me he wanted a divorce and the next month my grandmother who was like a second mother to me died. The month after my other grandmother died and the month after I almost lost my father. Since then things have gotten worse for me, up until last year. Last year I almost lost my mother three times and that would have been the worst thing ever. But this past year so much has changed. 

 

All I really need is my girls, but everything extra is all bonus. I have an adorable home that I've grown to love with all the improvements we've been making on it. So much has been getting done.

 

I have the best vehicles, absolutely gorgeous and while they may not be brand new they look good and run great. In addition I have my second home, my camper, that brings me wonderful memories now.

 

I have my daughters. My oldest who is absolutely gorgeous and amazingly smart. She's in the national honor society, the FFA, and wins awards on the norm. My youngest is the sweetest little thing, so caring, thoughtful and also an honor student.

 

I mean it when I say I have THE BEST mother & father. I do. No one will ever change my mind. They are always there for me, no matter how badly I'm screwing up. They love me unconditionally, always support my decisions even when they are the wrong ones and all around really good hearted, good people!

 

I have the cutest dogs. My girl is stunning. She's a hyper little thing, but she's a sweet sweet girl. My boy is crazy! He has such personality and while he's super friendly, he loves me more than anything and is super possessive, but that's okay. My kitty rocks too. She's not a people person so she really only likes Marc & I, but that's okay.

 

I am dating the best guy. Not only does he show me he wants to be with me, but he always treats me good! He appreciates all the good I do for him and he's trustworthy. He doesn't lie to me, or lie about me and it's like how a real relationship should be. I'm completely comfortable with him and I can be me and he loves it. He loves me even when I'm acting completely goofy. He takes real good care of me and my girls. He takes good care of my home and my vehicles. He understands what I've been though and gets that I don't like drama. We've been together almost a year and have only had 2 disagreements. And during them both we sat, talked and worked them out within 10 minutes because he understands that fighting is counterproductive so we don't fight. We don't do or say anything that is damaging to our relationship. He doesn't get mean or nasty with me and in return I'm never hurt or mad at him. For the first time in my life I'm with an actual adult and I know I'll be safe as long as I'm with him and I'm hoping that will be forever. We're just so good to each other and so good for each other. ♥

 

Finally I am starting my dream job tomorrow! I spent this past year wandering and trying to decide what I wanted to do with my life. I worked for people, I worked for myself. I started my own thing at the pleas of others and have decided that's not what I wanted. I put that all aside and am embarking on my dream tomorrow morning.

 

It's just been a good year! Things are looking so good. I spend every day waiting for the other shoe to drop, for something bad to happen, but hopefully all the bad things are behind me. I've been through enough to last me a lifetime. Every thing was a learning experience and has made me who I am today.

 

I'm caring, thoughtful, and always honest. I'm a good person. I spend a lot of time helping the people I care for, physically, mentally, financially, & morally. I want good for everyone. I'm faithful and loyal to anyone I've ever cared for. I'm drug free, alcohol free, and a hard worker. People are always a product of their environment and as long as I only allow good into my environment, I will get only good out of it. 

 

I said it in the beginning of the year, that I'd make 2016 a good one and I did. It's been the best one so far! I developed into the person I am suppose to be. And I have the security in knowing that everything will always be okay.

 

Good morning, good reflection, about to start my good day. 

 

~CLM

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