Take It Back

"Mike's dead." 😲 Those words will forever haunt me. Friday night, around 10:30 a detective knocked on my door asking me if I was married to Mike. I let him in and when I asked him what was going on, his response was, "Mike's dead." I was more shocked than anything. I teared up, cried a bit, listened to him as much as I could. I gave him all the information I could. My kids were with their father so it gave me a weekend to think about things before I were to tell them. I was mainly worried about Mike Jr, and Tiffany. I knew Kendra would be okay.

 

MJ cried a little at first and that was it. At 8 years old, I'm sure he doesn't understand the finality of it all. 😐 Kendra literally said, "Okay. Why would I care?" Tiffany broke down crying, asking me how and repeateding she misses him. 😢 My heart breaks for her. I'm okay. I'm not hurt, we seperated over a year and a half ago so it doesn't hurt. The whole thing is very sad though. I explained to Marc that I would probably burst out crying here & there, he's being very understanding. He's been home all weekend because we've been snowed in so that's been helpful. I love him more than anything right now, I cherish my time with him definitely.


It's crazy how things have happened. I haven't seen Mike in over a year, yet he was here last week dropping off MJ. I got to talk to him, he looked happy, he looked clean. Tiffany got to see him one last time, MJ got to see him one last time. Then poof... he's gone! Then for the first time ever Marc has off, not just one day, but TWO! I definitely needed him with me this weekend. I'm not sure I would have handled it otherwise.

 

My life is so good right now, but my heart is breaking for Mike's family, my step-son mostly. Even when things went bad for Mike & I, I still only wanted good things for him. Now he's gone, and I just can't grasp that. All I want is for the detective to take back those two words.

 

~CLM

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